Dealing with negative comments and people on Social Media or even outside of it.

When someone gave us, negative comments do not equate it with negativity by learning how to regulate your emotions and see things on a bigger picture.

There is this saying that you cannot please people around you. No matter what you say or do that is well meant, there would some people who are going to misunderstand you or get skeptical at your motives or even think of trying to pull you down.

We may try to fight back and explain ourselves to those people who misunderstood us but for some situations instead the issue gets being clear, things turn against us that you are the one who ends up as an offender than the one who bash you. While others cannot see a healthy criticism or feedback, they easily offended but what they don't see is this one can appear hurtful but if you see it for a different light, it brings you more growth to succeed.

It is a human nature that we react on certain things and think that the other person who provide us negative comments attacks us personally than to think deeper, reflect and see it as an insight.

To deal with these negative comments, we have to consider these points.

First is, these people saw what they have seen from the outside never seen your whole story, this is why whatever they say take it is a grain of salt and don't be affected. People have different perception of things, and it is easy to judge, form assumptions and dive to misunderstandings than to go deeper to the situation and think carefully. However, if you see that you are truly at fault then apologize.

When you are angry as you see those harsh comments, be silent and think carefully and let days pass before you even reply or better if none at all and ignore. You don't owe them an explanation especially no matter how you explain things to them, they want to hear what is pleasing to them.

Second is think if what they say would benefit you in the long run by simply seeing it on a different light. Be calm, open and receptive and don't see these statements as a way to attack you in person but it is an opportunity for you to learn what people like or don't like and also identify yours as well and make necessary actions that suits you, understanding yourself and your boundaries.

For those who are working towards a goal, never listen to naysayers or people who drain your energy. Believe on yourself and your capabilities and continue working towards it.

You focus on self-care, self-improvement and self-betterment, your priorities and what you want to achieve. When you give focus to these it gives you direction and you are not easily influenced and pressure by others.

Avoid gossips and be affected by it. If people are acting behind your back and makes gossips through comments or other means do not join them. Joining would be a waste of your time and energy, and you may also hurt the other person who is the subject of gossip. Gossips can be entertaining but it destroys relationships. There are other things that are matter instead of listening to it. Seek for the truth of the situation by communicating to the person concern or if not, time and events will always tell the truth. Be mindful with our relationships with others, be kind & compassionate and always seek for quality. and substance.

When we receive harsh comments, it is natural that we also received lots of rejections especially to those people who have different values and mindsets. To deal with these rejections, we need to be self-compassionate.

By practicing self-compassion despite of the flaws we have, we also discover our strengths as a person and become resilient and continue to move forward. Although we have family, friends and support people that can protect and defend us, but the inner work will always come from within. If you want to change your situation, it will always start from you. Not all the time they are always there and from there we need to be strong. Those rejections would also determine whose people are meant for you and acts at the best of your interest. It is time to weed out people who don't elevate us to the higher purpose. Remove yourself from toxic people.

We also try to understand where these people are coming from because there are times people are behaving that way because they feel insecure about themselves. It is also hard for them to accept a different perspective of things while others are dealing stress, and they don't have the right emotions and communication skills to deal with it. We need to see the bigger picture as we also being aware of the details, use it on the right way. There are some people through time realize their fault and make an apology.

All in all, in dealing with these negative comments and feedback whether you are the commenter or receiver, we need to have the strong sense of self. Before we even speak and act, we can also apply the "Four Way Test" of the Rotary club.

- Is it the Truth?

- Is it fair to all concerned?

- Will it build good will and better friendships?

- Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

When you are currently into this situation, I hope that this article would help you deal with this predicament. Thank you for reading.