How to be the master of your life

Each year some of us celebrate Chinese New Year and we try to check on our Chinese horoscope to see what kind of future is in store for us however Chinese Horoscopes serves as a guide but in the end, we are still the ones who can control our lives.

 There are some instances that we feel that we are easily swayed by the tides of circumstances that we are in, starting from our family, friends, acquaintances, our community, our government and the society as a whole.

For us to live harmoniously in this world, we have to comply with certain rules and as a saying goes, men are sociable creatures, we also rely on other people to achieve our goals and make us feel belonged and relevant in this world.

There is nothing wrong with this because this is our human nature however doing too much of it would end up of us pleasing people, we spread ourselves too thin and compromising this and that which make us forget who we really are, what is our stand? what are things we value? and people easily stepped on us and disrespected our boundaries and towards the end we feel that we have lost control of our lives because we keep on living with other people's expectations of us than of us of getting what we need and truly want in our lives.

Without the sense of control in our lives, we easily become stressed and anxious of the challenges and obstacles that we encounter especially when we are facing uncertainties in our lives.

Being the master of your life is not all about being arrogant, selfishness, controlling others and disregard people around you but it is all about strengthening yourself awareness, identifying what is essential and take responsibility for the actions that you are making and with these,

Here are the following ways in which we can become our own master of our lives.

Acknowledge that there is God, the Supreme Lord of our lives.

In every intention, motivation, decisions and actions that we make always put God first. There are lots of things that is happening to our lives that is beyond explanation, and we are here in this world because of the presence of the Supreme being. Sometimes, we begin to wonder that despite all the odds why there are people who survive and why miracles happened? and that's because of God's presence and His will. Each and every single day, we have to be grateful that we are alive, we are healthy, we have our loved ones, and we can still do the things that we want.

In Roman Catholic teachings, God is given us the "Free Will" to make choices and identify what is right and wrong. If you truly put God in your life by means of prayers and be of service to others, you will notice that whatever comes to your life God provides you the direction, the clarity and solution to your life to make sound decisions to achieve your goals and lessen the obstacles you are facing. Unlike if you choose the opposite, true that it may quickly remove obstacles, but this is short lived, and you can face consequences because you choose the bad way of doing things and easily get tempted on material things, wealth, fame and power as you stepped the toes of people around you. You also may feel that something is lacking to your life despite of all the things you have in life.

Do you think you are the master of your life in that way? The answer is "NO" because your mind is not at peace. You keep on hiding the truth for the fear that people will see the wrongdoing you make in order to achieve your goal. You are the master of your life when you put God first, you did things in a good way, and you will have a pure peace of mind and true happiness from all of it.

Practice Mindfulness and focus on the present to support our own goals.

We are living in this world bombarded with lots of information through social media, books and other media forms. We think that what is in the trend looks cool on us without even thinking the practicality of it in the long term or is this something that enrich our emotional, spiritual and mental growth.

When we don't follow the trends, we feel that we are being left out and not accepted. These trends also targeted our emotions in a sense that we become impulsive and fail to think logically and practically of what we truly need so this diverts our path towards a goal and for us to gain control of our lives we have to start practicing mindfulness.

Mindfulness is all about being attuned of what is happening around you as you focus on what is essential. You may start by identifying your strengths, weaknesses and limitations, assessing or evaluating the quality of your relationship to yourself and other people and if we that there is an issue or a flaw this where you began to do some measures and action about it and make self-improvements.

Mindfulness also applies on the way we use our time, finances and resources. When you practice budgeting, savings, investments and allocating your time and resources to the right place, it gives you that full control and you are not easily overwhelmed by sudden expenses, get in debt or get in trouble to others. You know to differentiate from needs, wants and how to make priorities. You also choose the right and supportive people to your life. You make use of what is available around you than idealizing too much of what is not.

If we wanted to change our current situation, we have to be at the present because present is something that we can make a plan, make decisions and set a definite action. Our past would either serve as a memory or a lesson for us to learn and this is not something that we dwell on get stuck in for ages. We cannot change the past because it is already happened. As for the future this gives the direction and hope of what we want to become by having strong vision and goals. If we don't set our vision and goals then we don't do something at the present to achieve it and we easily influenced on the things around us and we lose control that we may resort to temporary source of happiness such as Alcoholism, sex and Drug addiction and other vices.

Prayers, Meditation and Self-care can help us recharge our batteries and have the strength to gain control of our lives.

If you practice prayers and meditation, you noticed that it lifts up your worries and burdens. As you pray or meditate, God/the universe led you to the right path that seems may not be relevant to you, but you realize later on that is a blessing in disguise. If you pray but God didn't grant the path that you wanted that means He leads you to something better so don't be afraid to go with the flow.

Having strong conviction and boundaries

Having strong conviction and boundaries makes other people become aware on where we stand and what we are trying to value. People may or may not understand it however despite of the differences, a person who values your boundaries will respect it because they know what is important to you. If people still judge you or mistreated you because you are different then you have to start evaluating that relationship if there is any good for you and learn to let them go and let the right people come to your life.

Self-Compassion and forgiveness can help you move forward and gives you also the control.

When we dwell on our past and always listen to what other people are saying to us we lose our control to be able to think for ourselves and to move forward. We have to be reminded of two things, first we cannot please everyone and second, the past doesn't define our whole being. It can be a part of our lives but it doesn't mean that you can be that person forever because you can change for the better. Other people may be an instrument of change through a genuine help from some of your loved ones or carers and other professionals but in the end, the readiness to change starts from you.

Having self-compassion and forgiveness to yourself makes you grounded and also helps you rise again from your downfall. Self-compassion is acknowledging your flaws but by recognizing your strengths and good qualities and cultivate it. Imagine if you are dwelling too much from the past, would that help you change for better and find a solution? You must learn also on how to forgive yourself and others in order for you to move forward. Remember, we are humans and we must remind ourselves that we sometimes commit mistakes but it doesn't make you a bad person who are not capable of love or a happy life. We are not tolerating wrong behavior but we have to do the right thing for ourselves and for other people who we are involved it.

For final thoughts, we have to accept that there are things that we can control and what we cannot and for us to become the masters of our lives, it depends on how we deal with it and putting God first in our intention, motivation, making solutions, decision and our actions.